─ Chapter Twenty-two ─ Awakening

Autumn had arrived. During a late October day each of the Seven felt the breeze of change disturb them—stirring up fallen leaves of truth within the deepest parts of their hearts.
       Charles sensed something was going on with the Seven as he strolled in Regents Park, admiring the attentiveness of the gardeners gathering up leaves into stout paper sacks. He didn’t dally. Returning to his room he packed a bag, informed a rather bemused duty manager he would be away for a few days and caught a bus to Euston Station. He stopped by the statue of Captain Matthew Flinders—the first mariner to circumnavigate Australia. The captain’s remains, thought to have been lost, were discovered during the HS2 excavations near Euston Station in 2019. Matthew Flinders had two loves in his life—Trim, his faithful cat who accompanied him on his voyages and Bungaree, the first indigenous person from the continent to be called an Australian. Bungaree was Chief of the Broken Bay Aborigines and mediated between English colonists and Aboriginal people. He was known as a flamboyant figure in the colonial settlement of Sydney and his portrait was painted more than any other early colonial figure.

     Charles gently stroked the statue’s face—wishing that it would come alive and breathe again. In his former incarnation they had been lovers. Charles longed to taste again the sea salt on his muscular arms. He longed to see him in his chair, smoking a long pipe and stroking Trim, purring with contentment on his lap. He moved towards the platform to catch the local train to St Albans Abbey and as he approached he watched as a Virgin Pendolino train pulled out of the other platform bearing the name Matthew Flinders. He smiled with pride and love.

     Charles settled into a seat and feeling his mobile vibrate took it out of his pocket to read a text—it was from Jorge: “Hi Charles, I’ll meet you at the station at 11.40. Looking forward to seeing you again.” Charles was now 101 years old and walked slowly without a stick. He talked about death with ease—neither hastening nor fretting about its arrival. He lived in and for the present moment and was a shining example of a human being in ever deeper love with his Beloved—his God—the Source of All Life.

     Jorge greeted Charles and they hugged warmly.

     ‘Good to see you Charles—you look younger every time I see you.’

     They laughed as Jorge took his bag and they walked the short distance to the car.

     ‘Do you know why I’m here Jorge?’

     ‘Yes, it seems the Seven, Eleanor and you felt a “Disturbance in the Force!”

     Charles smiled at the reference to Star Wars—they were both fans.

     ‘Not surprisingly I felt it in Callum first but then in all the others too within a few minutes. I have learned throughout this mortal life to respond to feelings like this even though I may or may not know the reason. This time Jorge, I most definitely know the reason and you are to play a part in it all my friend—and I mean more than performing your technical wizardry!

     Jorge was not at all surprised to hear this.

     They pulled up at the main house and Callum came out to greet him with a longer hug than usual.

     ‘You’re in the recently refurbished guest room Charles. I think you’ll love it—being the young gentleman that you are,’ he said with glistening wink.

     Callum was delighted to see Charles and they spent some time over coffee to catch up.

*

Leonard appeared in his prepared seat, looking about 15 years before he passed. He was dressed like a probation officer in the 1970s—charcoal grey corduroy trousers, brown brogue shoes, country style shirt with some curious eternity symbol cuff-links and, to top it all, a Harris tweed jacket. He looked very smart and composed as he greeted everyone.

     ‘Good afternoon everyone. You are probably wondering why I called you all here? I have always wanted to say that since I saw a film clip where a woman Chief Executive enters a lift full of people, does not turn around but says exactly what I just said to you. I love it.’

     This prompted loud laughter—it happened to be true. Everyone who Leonard had called was present: the rest of the Seven, Eleanor, Jorge and Charles.

     ‘Do you know Leonard I was thinking of you when I experienced your call—a strange feeling—it started in my legs, funnily enough!’ said Sarah.

     ‘In your legs?’

     ‘Yes Folina, in my legs.’

     With that Sarah stood and went over to the star tapestry—without making any eye contact with anyone. She turned to the circle and smiled.

     ‘I love this tapestry. I love you all. I love Castlethorpe. All of it will pass away.’

     The gasps of the gathering were shallow and short which would have shocked most people but it was a natural response to a startling moment for this group.

     ‘When did you start to walk again Sarah?’ enquired Val.

     ‘Four weeks ago. I felt a hot and cold tingling and was lifted to my feet as I watched a talk by our friend, Llwewllyn Vaughan-Lee. He had paused, you know that look of his when he looks upwards for what can last for a few to many seconds. By the time I was up and could feel every toe and muscle he was into his next sentence. I walked around the room—it was a wonderfully strange yet unexciting experience. I turned Llewellyn off and sat down and opened my heart to the Beloved. The next few hours I floated in blissful love—a beautiful, beautiful love that no words can describe. I went in deep, deep, deep and did not want to come back; but as we all know, times like that do pass. What I had not anticipated was how underwhelming it was to have the ability to walk again. I knew I would not make a big deal about it. Others will want to—not you though! My experience of communion with God was so much greater than getting my legs back. I knew in my soul it was part of a sequence of things that were happening to us that we will discover shortly.

     Leonard has gathered us together to watch and discuss Llewellyn’s  talk. There is a link between my legs and us being here that I have no clue about. We will see if it becomes clear today or later. We have all watched Llewellyn’s talk on awakening before so it needs no introduction. Shall we watch it now without pausing?

     Everyone nodded in agreement and without a hint of surprise—this is how their gatherings happened. One or more is led to lead with Spirit’s prompting and the sense of rightness is acknowledged, often without any words being spoken.

     Jorge pressed a button and a screen lowered from the ceiling towards the rear of the room. Hannah saw several of the stars twinkle on the tapestry. This was not a trick of the eye or a reflection in the special glass. As the screen lowered the deep blue material window blinds closed and the lighting dimmed.

     “So, today I wanted to talk about awakening—and what awakening really means, and what actually awakens and what does it awaken to?” Llewellyn’s opening words were familiar to them all because each of them had watched the talk on YouTube within hours of sensing Leonard’s call. There was a lovely silence throughout. Attention from them all was profound. They all knew why they were there. The call came through Leonard at the Beloved’s irresistible behest.

     Llewellyn’s one hour, three minutes and thirty-six second talk flew by.

     Jorge felt it was not yet time to return the room to pre-screening mode. The group sat and said nothing for about five minutes.

     ‘Now,’ said Sarah ‘we’ll go through the talk again using a transcript that Hannah has prepared—this time pausing when anyone feels a nudge to speak. Did you want to say anything Hannah?’

     ‘Yes—I have transcribed many talks before so am aware that it can be quite a laborious process. Not this time. It took me over nine hours to complete it because I was drawn and shown so many things by God. It was glorious. Technically I have tried to be as faithful to what Llewellyn says and how he says it as I can. I could feel the Holy Spirit wonderous editing prompts as I went through it. I inserted pause, long pause or very long pause throughout—they seemed very important. His delivery is like music—if the essence of music is in-between the notes then the message he brings is found in-between his words and especially in his pauses. This is definitely a key moment for us as a soul group.’

     Hannah handed round the transcript. Jorge set the room programme at 65% daylight, circulated small pause/forward/rewind controls to everyone and started the video.

Awakening

Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

Transcribed from a talk, San Francisco, March 2007

“So, today I wanted to talk about awakening—and what awakening really means, and what actually awakens and what does it awaken to?

     ‘It’s so important for us to ask these fundamental questions but we rarely do—to our cost’ said Charles. ‘Our evolution in this human form depends not just on waking up, like in The Matrix that I know you have studied recently but in our on-going awakening—in staying awake!'

     ‘Charles, your wisdom is a pearl of great price,’ responded Jorge with a welcoming sigh.

There is a whole tradition of spiritual teaching that says everything is perfect, everything always was perfect and everything always will be perfect and in the moment you can realize that perfection—if you like the only imperfection is our perception.

     ‘This concurs with A Course in Miracles and the role the mind and ego plays in our lives. I’m amazed how quickly Castlethorpe students grasp this fact—so much faster than I did,’ contributed Leonard.

 We are the veil that  separates us from the direct experience of an awakened reality and... and all you need to do is just to awaken to what is already here. You don't have to change anything, you don't have to improve anything. You don't have to improve yourself—you just have to be present with the divine perfection that is present. And that's a very very ancient and very beautiful teaching. And many people have had such a direct experience. They awakened to what is and they realized its perfection and really there is nothing else to do.

     And that is, in a way, an act of grace that is given to the human being—to wake up to what is. Not what appears—there’s a great difference between what appears and what is. What appears is our perception—what is is what is actually present.

     Someone pressed pause but nobody spoke. Folina rewound to “We are the veil...” and played it again—twice.

     ‘This is not a dissection. We are not debating, unpicking or analysing. It is a privilege to have the technology to replay such powerful words. I am in awe of what The Spirit of All Life is saying to us through Llewellyn. I am drawn to seek out the ancient, ancient teachings that some say have been lost. They have been kept safe. There is a mystery school that has treasures of life in its vaults, celestial beings have protected it for more than two hundred years. The texts it contains were written long, long ago by awakened souls. We will not all see them in this human form but some of us will and others will accompany us in the living quest to go deeper and deeper and deeper. It’s all by the Grace of the Divine—pure selflessness.’

     Tears rolled down Folina’s cheeks, just like they did when she cradled Kashish’s head as she passed, many years ago in Perú.

And it's one of the astounding realizations, if you like, that you've been living... in a self-created or a culturally created illusion (pause) and then suddenly you wake up and it's not there anymore. And you realize it never was—it is  like mist at dawn being burnt away by the sun. And just as when you go out in the mist in the early morning and you can't see anything, you can just hear a few sounds of birds through the mist—maybe you hear some water somewhere or some cows in the distance if you're in Switzerland. But you are surrounded by yourself—that mist is yourself—you are surrounded by your own self and that is in a way the veil in which most people live (pause) most of the time.

     I think Jung said somewhere “Ninety-nine percent of humanity live in that ninety-nine percent of the time.” In this mist—or like a traditional London fog—you  can't see your hand in front of your face (pause) and then there’s this extraordinary moment when the mist lifts, when the veils part and suddenly you find yourself in the garden of creation—in the world as it actually is. And this is incredibly beautiful, incredibly radiant. It is... I like to think... to describe it as creation singing the song of the creator. It is incredibly beautiful. It is life really alive. It is in a way what we have actually come here to experience.

     We didn’t actually come here to experience the veils, to experience the mist, to experience the conditioning. We didn’t even come here to experience our mind. There was a hope when the soul came into this world that we could actually experience this world. I mean, to use that classic expression “We could actually be here now.” (pause) And if you have really had just one instance of that experience in your life, something in you is deeply fulfilled—you have actually arrived. You’ve actually been present in this world for the first time.

     So it is really important to realise that—this primal experience, (pause) of life, of creation. It is not an experience of yourself. (pause) Yes, there are experiences you can have of yourself, of your real self. There are moments which you can directly perceive your true nature—what you really are. They are also incredibly beautiful and (pause) can be quite overwhelming—when you realise the centre of light, the centre of love, the centre of pure being that is your nature. But in that direct experience of life there is no you—there is just life. In the garden of creation there is just creation. It is unbelievably beautiful. (pause)

As many of you know I had... was given that when I was sixteen. And I just woke up and I didn’t believe that anything could be so beautiful. And what was quite interesting it was the same place I had been (pause) before but it was completely different. And there was this light, there was this beauty, there was this incredible joy, an incredibly simp... an incredible simplicity—it just was—it just is and I always know that’s there. Once you’ve had that moment, that direct experience, you cannot forget it. And you know it is there. You may lose it—you don’t live in it all the time.

     Callum saw himself shrouded in mist sat under the tree—it was a revelation.

     ‘I see it now, the mist, the veil is myself. No wonder I felt the Divine had gone—I just needed to get out of the way. That dark night of the soul of mine was a tough but necessary lesson. How can we help others to remove the mist that enshrouds them? Is this our main purpose for being on this planet?

     Val pondered this as did the others and felt prompted to speak.

     ‘We only know our own mist, our own veil, our own ego and mind. We can huff and puff but we can’t blow it away. But Divine Grace is like the sun that burns away people’s mists and we can become instruments of Grace to reflect the sun’s rays into the inner chambers of the heart. It is more who we are than what we say or do. Soul groups can, collectively, magnify, amplify and multiply the vibrations at ever increasing frequencies. The Celestine Prophecy popped into my mind as I said that. Yes, its also about what is happening amongst us right now. I can sense the Divine energy that you are sending me—all of you. We are sending, radiating, this energy consciously and sub-consciously when we meet in person like this and in spirit when we are apart. It is beautiful, so beautiful.

 I think it would be unfair on people around you if you did. (laughter) But you never lose it. You always know it is just there waiting behind the mist—waiting for the sunlight to come through and to lift it and then you find you’re... you are in the Garden of Eden. This is the archetypal Garden of Eden where, of course, human beings walked together with God. (pause)

     It is not a God that we have been conditioned to think of as something separate—it’s just a God that just is—it is the Divine that is always present. Because when you experience life like that you know it is Divine. It is a direct experience of the Divine in creation. And it is not your experience. It can never be your experience. Just like it’s not your creation. It just is. In a way it’s a tremendous privilege... to be shown that. It is like, archetypically I suppose, a beautiful woman taking off her clothes and revealing the radiant beauty that is underneath—when the Creator does that with His creation. And it is always there. And there’s nothing to be improved—nothing to be added to. (pause)

     ‘I’m sorry, I can’t let this go. I noticed how we reacted when we got to this bit at the first viewing. He seems stuck in a stereotypical time-warp. Beauty, in relation to human beings, is perceived and myths, tales, children’s cartoons, Hollywood and a patriarchal society perpetuate this distortion. Surely those that have woken up and continue to deepen their awakening can express spiritual truths without falling into the perception trap. Perhaps we need to create—dare I say it—a new paradigm or, maybe, simply rediscover and state what is true. Jesus would not have described it this way—would he? I think LVL has a blind spot in this regard and needs to wake up.’

     ‘I think Callum is absolutely right,’ said Eleanor—she got up and hugged him. ‘I do believe we are going to influence some change about this and there will be resistance to what we have to say.’

     The energy in the room resonated with increased frequency and gravitas.

     ‘Thank you Callum for saying what I was thinking,’ said Folina.

     It is what er T.S. Eliot calls this moment “in and out of time”. He writes about it very beautifully. And as often one thing... there is often in this a quality of laughter—a quality of joy—a quality of laughter. Because there is... it’s something we have forgotten; there is in creation this deep deep laughter—this deep joy.  He writes about it when he says “Sudden in a shaft of sunlight  Even while the dust moves  There rises the hidden laughter of children in the foliage  Quick now, here, now, always  Ridiculous the waste sad time stretching before and after.” It is that primal innocence. Quick now, here, now, always. (pause) And the laughter of children. (pause) So that is what it means to be awake. To be present—for a moment—in life as it actually is.

     And then there is this whole extraordinary thing that we actually live in. Which isn’t that. Which is sometimes about as far from that as one could imagine. Which is this mist, this veil—the Sufis talk about the veils—that cover us and cover us and cover us and cover us. Until we forget why we are here—until we forget even the memory of creation. So we read about it in Genesis—it was like that at the beginning—not realising the beginning is now. The beginning is what is and everything afterwards is what got lost (long pause). And that presents human beings with an enormous paradox—that everything we create, everything we do is what separates us from what is. I repeat that because it is, it is so astounding—everything we do, everything we think about ourselves, everything we create separates us from what is.

     Again no one spoke. No one moved. The presence of the Divine permeated everything. It was totally, totally out of this world. They were enveloped in the paradox that Llewellyn spoke of. Words were, again, not necessary.

In a way everything in our life is about putting ourselves to sleep—or is about gentle snoring rhythms (laughter). And I suppose some people are so fast asleep they just have their nightmares—and they live in them. I suppose some people have really pleasant dreams—and they live in those. And some people are in this half waking/half sleeping strange state where nothing is real—it’s what’s called spiritual life. No, seriously, it is what is called spiritual life, because it’s not completely asleep; if you are completely asleep and having your dreams of—I don’t know what people dream of—fulfilled relationships, BMW cars, whatever it is. Or nightmares—losing everything, the next earthquake, whatever the nightmare is. Some people have nightmares, some people live in anxiety-redden nightmares—day after day, night after night. And some people are lucky and they live a good dream—and they drive the BMW car and they’re kissed by the beautiful girl or they go out to dinner with the handsome man—whatever... their dream.

     ‘Or the beautiful guy, despite his acne, halitosis, stammer and poor taste in clothes goes out with the very ordinary young woman who is intellectual, plays hockey rather badly and has little time for small talk.’

     Everyone laughed at Val’s alternative rendering!

     And then there is this strange state, half awake, half asleep—when you are no longer satisfied either with the nightmare or the beautiful dream. And you know you’re not awake and it torments you you’re not awake but you can’t sleep soundly. And you start to do spiritual practices and the purpose of spiritual practices is to help you make the transition from snoring to awaken. Once you’re awake there’s no need for spiritual practice, I can assure you! Who is there to do a spiritual practice? My sheik Bhai Sahib said that there were times when he didn’t pray because there was nobody even there to pray. If you’re awake, you’re awake. You’re present and there’s not even a you to be present—it’s a very very beautiful state. There is nothing to add—there is nothing to take away, it just is.

     ‘I have not heard this described from any pulpit in any religious place I have ever visited.’ said Eleanor and everyone knew exactly what she meant. She felt a sense of relief that Castlethorpe had never promoted any particular spiritual practice—its ethos has always been driven by the direct experience of the Divine.

     So this is the... the ancient ancient story of humanity. As I say, interestingly in the whole Christian Western iconography it was there at the beginning in the Garden of Eden and everything that has happened since then has been what got lost—has been what happened when humanity tasted duality—tasted the fruit of the tree of good and evil; tasted duality and was then thrown out of the Garden of Eden—and that wonderful image that has stayed with me since my childhood of angels with flaming swords not allowing you back. (pause)

     And so really since then it has all been about what has got lost—thousands and thousands of years of what has got lost. Now what I find very interesting is this is both an individual story—we were all in the Garden of Eden, we all got thrown out of the Garden of Eden, we all tasted duality, good and evil, light and dark—and also it is the story of the whole of humanity and of the world.

     The whole world was once Adam and Eve. (pause) The Sufis actually say that... that Adam is the archetypal man. They even talk about the “Greater Adam” and the “Lesser Adam”. Adam is the archetypal man—Eve is the archetypal woman. It is in a way, all of humanity—not just that first man and the first woman but that essential man and essential woman. (pause) The one real man, the one real woman that lives in the Garden of Eden—that is present there, in the world, in its intrinsic beauty—naked with God.

     So that is both each of our stories and also the story of the world. Of everything that got lost—all the wars that were fought afterwards—and you just have to read the Bible; all of the wars and all of the judgements and all of the punishments and all of the tribulations and all of the prophets...  and all of the revelations. They’re just about what happened afterwards—and that goes on for thousands of years. (pause)

     And occasionally individual people want to return there—want to wake up, want to no longer live in a nightmare for a dream. (pause)And also because of this extraordinary relationship between humanity and the world—there also comes a time when the world itself wants to wake up—when the world wants to throw off this debris of thousands of years—it wants to waken out of the mist. And what is very interesting there is a whole ancient esoteric tradition—I should say that there are... they’re always two, if you like, levels of esoteric tradition—sacred wisdom—and one has to do with the spiritual evolution of the individual—and that’s what you can find in some of the books now available in the West and some of the teachings that have been made public in the last 20/30 years.

     And then there is a whole other level of esoteric teaching which has to do with the world—which has to do with the spiritual body of the world. And most of that was lost a long time ago. (pause) There are vestiges of it in some shamanic traditions that have been passed down from father to son. There are hints of it in some of the remnants of the real Tibetan teachings that have come to the West, but what has come to the West is a very watered-down version; most of those sacred Tibetan texts got burnt by the communists. (pause) And of course in the West some of those teachings were held by the Gnostics, but those were lost long, long ago.

     Patrick felt a jolt.

     ‘They were lost but many have been preserved in the vaults that Folina mentioned earlier. We will find them. How amazing is this. Why us?

     So there is this whole other esoteric tradition of how the world functions as a living spiritual being and part of that teaching is that there are signs that something is going to happen. There are signs when the world begins to want to wake up. They’re very odd signs—they aren’t signs that you would think; they’re usually signs of things going really off-base—of things getting really skewed out of proportion. They’re almost signs of things being misused rather than used. They’re signs of disaster—which is what happens when the world begins to kind of shake itself a bit. Now what really interests me is the possibility of being present at that moment. Now this is a paradox because the world is always perfect. The world can never be other than perfect—and yet the world can also wake up. (pause)

     Hannah saw herself in a supermarket; suddenly she merged with everything—she became one with everything. She sensed the life of all the inanimate solid objects as well as tinned and fresh food. She felt revolted by modern processing methods as a native north American woman whispered something into her ear that became a lion’s roar inside her heart. She felt their pain and anguish. She wept. After a while she drifted back to her seat and shared what had happened.

     ‘Your Uncle Harry is so proud of you Hannah. He is in Jerusalem right now and is aware of you. I see him reach out his hand and say “Shalom” to you—to us all.’

     ‘Thank you Patrick.’

     And this is kind of beautifully imaged in one of the Western myths of the gra... of the human awakening which is the Grail Legend. And as many of you know the young knight Parzival, he found his way to the Grail castle one morning. He was there in this sacred magical place that wasn’t far away—the mist lifted and he found himself in the Grail castle and everything he had ever wanted was fulfilled in that moment. He was present at the most sacred place in the world—in the Grail castle. And that is like everybody’s initial awakening—it is always there—it just happens. I think that almost all human beings are given such a moment at some time in their life—I don’t think the soul could come into this world and remain in this world if it didn’t have that experience at least once in an incarnation.

     ‘I think this is very true—that moment, whenever it happens in time—can act as a portal to Divine energy. It may be the way into the hardest of hearts.’

     Sarah’s comment was received with nods of agreement.

     It might be something very simple like, like finding a really beautiful tomato and eating it—and in that moment there is actually a direct experience. It might just be just watching a sunset—that’s why I like what T.S. Eliot said when he said “Sudden in a shaft of sunlight  Even while the dust moves  There rises the hidden laughter of children in the foliage.” It is there—for everybody there is that kind of moment that is there—something is awakened. There is a light in the air—there is sunlight in the air—there is this laughter—oh yes—and for a moment you remember what you had forgotten.

     And then, like Parzival, it gets lost. I had that experience when I was 16—I had it for two weeks which was amazing—but then, the veils fall again and you have to go through all of the process, all of the tribulations, all of the... Parzival had to rescue the maiden. There are knights to be fought—there is the battle of life. And then slowly something begins to disintegrate. (pause) Now interestingly in the last century there have been terrible terrible battles that have been fought. Humanity has gone through strange contortions—and it all begins to be distorted when the possibility of something awakening within yourself—something begins to distort inside of you. It’s very odd. I don’t know if you notice it in your own life when you come to that kind of a point it’s like the worlds don’t quite fit together. It’s a very disturbing experience—it is like one reality comes very very close to the other reality. I can tell you very simply what it is—we have our own self-created reality—for example, the image we have of ourself whether it came from our childhood or our therapist, it doesn’t matter—right? (laughter) We have our own self-created... we are this kind of a person, we have this lot of problems or we have—you know, you are well educated Californians.

     And then there is reality with a capital R—and most of the time they don’t interfere too much with each other. It’s like, for example, traditionally, if you have a good spiritual teacher he won’t he won’t interfere with you too much of the time—it’s too dangerous. He’ll let you live your illusion or she’ll let you live your illusion—won’t interfere too much. Because, you know, your image of yourself is your particular little bit of mist that you carry around with you and some have it nicely perfumed—you know, it’s a kind of rose-tinted mist (laughter) and some have a more demonic mist that—you know, has devils peering through it. It’s just mist. And behind the mist there is Reality—there is life as it actually is. And most of the time they are quite separate. Human beings have been given this incredible freedom to make up almost any illusion they want.

     Animals don’t have the same freedom. Animals have to live their reality. They don’t have a choice. I always remember a friend of mine had a dream experience with a fox and he was in the dream he was kind of trying to civilise the fox and the fox said no—the fox will always do what a fox is. That animal reality has to be true to itself—it’s in the DNA—it can’t lie. As human beings we have been given this incredible freedom to create almost any illusion that we want—any sense of our self, any sense of our life—we can create. And we can create terrible scenarios and beautiful scenarios—and all between. And then there is something called Reality. As I said, most of the time Reality and your illusion do not interact very much.

     There was a lovely pause and Charles was prompted to speak.

     ‘It seems to me that this “incredible freedom”—this free will—is also a curse though, of course, it is essential to our evolution. Without it there would be no free will. Preachers, evangelists, spiritual teachers, gurus, rabbis may understand this intellectually but it can still tear them apart inside when the message is listened to but not acted upon. It is like the prophet Isaiah said “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Llewellyn is talking about a deeper wisdom here—knowing when not to speak—not to give that message, that counsel, that thought. But to observe with a deep love and let the Divine do the work deep within the innermost chambers of the heart.

     In exactly the same way as it said in The Upanishads about the two birds who sat on the branch of the tree—one eats the fruit of the tree and the other looks on; which is why in Sufism the higher self is often referred to as the Shahid—the witness—it just watches. Reality just watches. Remember it doesn’t judge—there is no good and bad from Reality, that’s the fruit that banished us from reality. Judgement—something being better than something else or worse than something else. Reality just watches—doesn’t interfere. This is... for most spiritual people, this is very difficult to understand (pause)—that Reality just watches—it watches you. Again, in the same way, in the spiritual tradition most of the time the teacher just watches you—does very little—we are conditioned to say very little, otherwise it would interfere with the freewill of the human being. Always be careful of the spiritual teacher who tells you what to do.

     But, as I was saying, there are these... when someone has the potential to wake up—reality with a capital R comes a little bit closer—it is no longer completely detached—the energy starts to shift. And when Reality comes close to the illusion that you have, everything gets distorted—the worse gets worse—the good gets gooder. Remember good and bad are just illusions—nothing is good. Hamlet said that—nothing is good or bad only thinking makes it so. In fact there is a mystical experience where you see that the ultimate good and the ultimate evil are just two sides of the same coin—you can flick them in the air. (pause) But when what is Real comes a little bit close to the illusion everything gets distorted—it gets thrown out.

And two things can happen then—you can either start to freak out, which is basic human reaction—can’t cope anymore, it’s all too much—or... you can begin to take notice—you can begin to sniff the air—you can begin to access an ancient ancient wisdom inside of you that belongs to all of humanity that has been covered over and forgotten and covered over and forgotten—which is something’s about to happen. Then you have a choice—you can bury your head in the sand and save for your 401K*, I think it’s called in this country, or you can say I want to be there when it happens—I want to be there when life wakes up. (pause)

*401K is a retirement savings plan sponsored by an employer.

     Now personally, I think this time... is such a time, because when I look around me something very very odd is taking place—and it’s not just politicians and weapons of mass destruction and wars, it’s everything has got really really distorted—I mean so distorted on all plains that it’s really wacky. I actually gave a whole talk about this recently in London, I saw that, in Sufism we talk about the veils that separate us from Reality—the veils that cover us up. And I saw that those veils had become so distorted now, that you can’t possibly find your way towards anything. Everything you see is distorted—everything you see in the outer world and everything you see in the inner world. It’s all distorted, it’s all.. like another  channel of a television—it’s very very odd.

     And what... what is interesting is that, I mean most of here us are like, you know, have been here for at least forty years or so and we can remember it wasn’t always like that. Even thirty years ago it wasn’t distorted like that. (pause) And it’s interesting how we kind of take it for granted, this distortion. We say well that’s progress or computers or globalisation and we don’t realise that something has really really got off-key. I guess we kind of adapt and adapt and adapt until we don’t realise what is happening.

     So what interests me is that there is inside of me this ancient knowledge that when something gets distorted like that—gets off-key. It is like... I’ll give you an example—in our culture now everybody needs healing right? Have you ever met anybody who says I don’t need any healing—I’m fine, I’m great (laughter) You know... I mean—now why is that? Are human beings basically born sick? Or is it because everything is distorted and it affects us—it affects our psychic body, it affects our physical body, it affects our inner alignment. (pause) We don’t think about it—we take it for granted. We kind of take it for granted that everything is wrong. (pause) But what it means is that everything is off-key—and so, there is inside of us a natural balance—physical, emotional, even mental actually. And that’s off-key. So we all kind of need a treatment to put it back—not realising that, the cause is, the problem is not ourselves. We don’t need to get healthy—you can eat all the organic food you like and do your morning yogas and yes it will help a bit, but if you’re, you know, if you’re in a culture, a world where everything is distorted it will distort you, it will distort you. It’s a very strange time—very strange.

They played this section again several times and it prompted a lively discussion. Sarah shared some of her experiences when she was completely flat on her back during the first few weeks of her paralysis. She was less concerned with what would happen to her than to listen to what others were saying around her who were in a similar state. Llewellyn’s words rang true for her. The physical distortion of fractured spines was only the tip of the ice berg. Their sense of self and an unknown future, relating to other people and the world went deeper into their souls. Leonard asked Sarah when she would talk about getting her legs back and she assured them she would but not yet as there were some things she still needed to do. She would continue to use her wheelchair in public—only the gathering is to know for now.

What I find really interesting is that, that.. everybody is aware that something’s off. You know we... we have global warming, we have all the things that are off. But it’s somehow we lost this ancient understanding to really think what does that mean? I’m just sharing with you... that there is this ancient teaching and, I don’t know, it applies both to the individual and to the whole—that when some things get seriously distorted it’s because something is about to happen. (pause) And, I have a deep passion—I want to be there when it happens. I really want to be... I was at the first Glastonbury festival... you know... (laughter) and something was supposed to happen then and then it didn’t. (laughter) And... I want to be here when it happens—because I know what it means. (pause) And there is this incredibly beautiful thing we call the world—and it’s changing—it’s metamorphosising. (pause) And, what I find difficult to understand is nobody seems to be noticing. They’re so identified with either their individual or collective problems (pause)—that they’re not aware of what is actually taking place.

     Now it is said he is the greatest of tricksters—think that’s in the Koran—He is the greatest of tricksters—He is the greatest of deceivers and (long pause)... and somehow He allows humanity to be caught again and again and again and again. Just as you know individually you get caught again and again and again and again in whatever your particular penchant is—whether it’s failed relationships, psychological problems, spiritual crises—whatever it is you want to go through. You get caught in again and again and again and again. (pause)

     Eleanor could tell this was a hard saying for anyone to process.

     ‘Yes he is saying Allah, God, the Divine is a trickster and a deceiver. I have not heard of anyone brave enough to give a talk on it but it is true. However, if we were to trick or deceive I very much doubt our motives would be pure—for the very best of who we were seeking to trick or deceive. Holy deception and trickery is essential for the evolution of human beings on this planet. It may or may not be for beings on other planets. Yes, we must be brave and develop a learning stream on this for our students—yet another task for us!

     Leonard had listened intently to what Eleanor had said and knew it was time.

     ‘There are many things that I can’t say about my existence since I died in human form. You are not ready to hear them yet. What Eleanor has just said is essential for your evolution. It is difficult for you to understand. It will tie theologians in knots—but not children—they understand it completely and although their motives do become malevolent they are not always so. Often they trick and deceive out of pure love and joy. Not to cause harm but to learn. This is a very poor illustration of how our Beloved treats us but it does offer a tiny peek into the mystery of Divine trickery and deception. The words themselves have become so twisted and mutated as to be of little use. Llewellyn is right to use the reference in the Koran. Christians would do well to listen and examine their own Bible as these characteristics God are there in plain sight for those who have eyes that can see.

     And there comes this time in yourself when you say look I’ve had enough of this—I don’t want to play those games anymore. I would like actually to be present. I would like actually to live—not to dream, to live—I would like actually to live. And it’s like then you make a commitment to something in yourself—I am here for the sake of life. The moment you say my life, forget it because you have created the veil—you’ve put another layer of mist there. But the moment you say I am here for the sake of life or for the sake of God, it doesn’t matter—I really think that life and God are somewhere fundamentally the same.(pause) Then a door opens. Then something in life responds. (long pause)

     So what fascinates me is how to be present at this  moment in time—so one doesn’t miss the opportunity. How to be awake when the world wakes up. I am personally completely convinced that the world is going to wake up—one way or another. Because there are signs—because you can smell it in the air—because something has gone so completely wrong (pause) that it has to. (pause)

     There is this kind of laughter in the air. (pause) And that’s when you can make this shift—a very simple shift in consciousness—which is to realise you are not a separate individual. This is one of the greatest illusions that has been perpetuated—you are not a separate individual. You never were a separate individual. Everything else in life knows that it’s not separate—every ant, every hummingbird, every spider—every cloud. Even the angels, they know they’re not separate. They know they’re part of something. They know they all work together. They all know there is this extraordinary whole of which, even to say they are a part, it isn’t quite like that.

     We are the only species that thinks we are separate—that thinks it is my life. And let alone thinks it’s my realisation, or its my spiritual life—which of course now is mass-marketed in the West. And you can have it in any taste and colour and perfume and variation... you can imagine. You know some people like the kind of Neiman Marcus* spiritual life and other people prefer the wholefood spiritual life—you... you can get whatever you like, (pause) but there is no such thing as my spiritual life—it is a complete contradiction in terms. Cos if there is any truth about spiritual life is that it is about the Divine—it is about God. It is about what is real. If there is any single truth about spiritual life, it is about the Divine. (pause)

* Neiman Marcus is an American chain of luxury department stores owned by the Neiman Marcus Group.

‘Yes, “there  is no such thing as my spiritual life”. I’m absolutely convinced this is one of those things that we have to guard against here at Castlethorpe.’ said Sarah with deep conviction and earnestness. The power of identification and attachment are the ego’s favourite tricks and our students are not immune. There is no vaccine. We have to watch and warn and let this Divine truth shine out from us. I believe this to be one of our Holy duties as teachers.’

     But that brings us back to that basic point—how can we be here when the world wakes up? (pause) Now there is in the Grail legend there is a very very simple clue—and the beauty in the Grail legend is it’s part of our Western heritage and one thing Jung stressed, he said that you cannot just take on an Eastern religion because the Eastern psyche is different. And in the Grail legend the second time that Parzival is shown the Grail castle—if you like the second time he is present in Paradise—he is asked the question “For whom serves the Grail?” And he answers “The Grail serves the Grail King.” And I always find it fascinating in all the spirituality in the West we almost seem to have forgotten the most basic question—the Grail serves the Grail King. It is all about God. Everything is in service to God and the moment you say that and the moment you live that you are present. (pause) “Hama ost”, the Sufis say—all is He—everything is He. And we are in service to That with a capital T.

     And one thing I don’t understand—so much has been given to the West in the past thirty years. So much, so much spiritual wisdom, so many spiritual teachings; but this kind of greed that we seem to have been born with—that we want to take it back to ourselves, to fill this bottomless void which we have created. (pause) Forget that basic truth—that simple essential question and answer, which is in Sufism was also in the Primordial Covenant, when the not yet created humanity—when God called the not yet created humanity and said “Am I not your Lord?” And they said “Yes, we witness it.” It’s called the Primordial Covenant—the covenant between the creator and the creation, between humanity and God. And we made that Covenant before we came into creation—it was the not yet created humanity; when the very essence of the soul, that central spark of what is actually the real you. It’s very very beautiful—incredibly beautiful—if you knew what it was you would just...die—when that bowed down before God.

     And then of course, you have to live it—here in this world. You have to... answer that question. And sometimes it is just an individual question. It is at that turning-point in your own life when in a way you step into what can only be called spiritual maturity—when you are given a glimpse of something true and you have the right attitude to live it. And you said this is for His sake. This moment is for His sake. This music is for His sake. This dhikr is for His sake. This dance is for His sake. This love-making is for His sake. And you honour that deepest part of you. Then the light comes on within the human being.

      The Sufis call it the Light of Remembrance. The light of something waking up in this world of forgetfulness. So that is your, in your individual journey, that is this moment that happens to you and at the beginning you struggle to do it and you struggle to do it and you struggle to remember and to know it is about Him. And then there comes this extraordinary moment when (pause) it wakes up in such a way that it can never go back to sleep. When you are always in remembrance. When you are always bowed down before God. When something in you is always praying—the heart prays, the heart prays and the heart prays.

     And then from that moment everything you do in life is in service to God—whether you are baking bread, whether you are vacuuming or whether you are working as a banker—everything you do is automatically in service to God. Because your heart is in service to God, because your breath is in service to God. That is a kind of inner awakening—you don’t always aware of it consciously because it has to so with the soul’s relationship to God. But that is in the individual.

     But there is at this moment of time—one can if you like, step into the global arena and asking this question or answering this question “For whom serves the Grail—the Grail serves the Grail King—I am here in service to you.” [Sirens] It’s Chinese New Year isn’t it. Then you can be present in what is really happening—in what is really taking place. And then you can be used by creation to help this mystery unfold—to help the world to wake up. You, each of us, we are a part of creation—we are part of the light of God in this world. If you really knew how it looked from someway you would just... you would just bow down before God—this is so beautiful. When you... if you saw how your spiritual consciousness is part of the light of the world and what is happening at this moment in time—and something is turning—or something is being turned actually.

     It is both an organic natural process and it is also in the hands of something else—like the Sufis say “The Beloved holds the heart of the faithful between His two fingers and turns it as He wills.” What is true for the human being is also true for the world. He holds the heart of the world between His two fingers and turns it. Sometimes He turns it away from Him and we have been through at least a thousand years of Him turning the world away from Him—so much so we don’t even realise that is what has happened—we don’t even realise the world has been turned away from God. And it is about to change. He is about to turn or He is already turning the world back towards Him.

     When I said, when the reality with a capital R gets closer—begins to interfere with the illusions of humanity and distort them and distort them and distort them. And then you have this choice to be present when the world wakes up—to be awake when the world wakes up—to welcome the dawn or to be caught in this strange distorted illusion. Illusions are already distorted but they’re going get more and more distorted I can assure you. They will... very strange, bizarre things will start to happen if they haven’t happened already. I mean nobody knows what’s true anymore. I don’t know if you’re aware of that. Nobody knows what to believe anymore.

     You know there was a time when, you know, you had an apple tree and it produced apples and you picked them and you shared them with your neighbours or you made apple pie and, and it was real. But, we don’t live in that kind of world anymore—we have to have a label telling us if it’s a genetically engineered apple and we don’t even know what that means. (pause) I... I really don’t know if you’re aware that... that you don’t really know what to believe anymore. You’ve got so used to just lies and deception and lies and deception on a global scale.

     I mean what does global warming really mean? What does globalisation really mean? What does your pension really mean? (pause) It’s extraordinary how we have got used to it—how we kind of... everything we live in is poisoned now, and the truth... every bit of water is radioactive—everything is poisoned. Almost every thought is poisoned—it’s distorted, it’s manipulated—whose thought is it? Is it your thought—did it come from somebody else—was it somebody manufactured that thought. Is there ever anything that you actually want yourself or does it just come from somewhere else into your mind?

     Do you have any idea anymore? Do you want something because it tastes good, cos you actually like it or somebody’s told you it’s good for you. (pause) And we don’t even realise that it happens. Forty years ago it was not like that. Yes, there was materialism, but it was honest, straightforward materialism. You wanted a washing machine and maybe your neighbour’s neighbour had a colour TV. (pause) If you were in England you wanted a Sunday roast on the table—potatoes and brussels sprouts. And it was real. (very long pause)

     And in the midst of this incredible illusion—incredible distortion—unbelievable. And... and what I have realised recently that I’ve shared with some of you is not only the outer world is distorted—the inner world is distorted. You don’t know what’s true in the inner world. You don’t know if the symbols in the inner world have just been put there by some advertising company or whether they come from the collective unconscious—you don’t know anymore. In the West the Catholic Church used to have good control over the symbols. And everybody knew what they were and they worked with them.

     But it’s all been manipulated now—that you’ve no idea what is true. And that is a sign that an era is coming to an end—a classic sign of what happens when an era is coming to an end. It is actually what happens when Reality with a capital R begins to distort the illusions—almost out of control. And so you can either try and change the illusions (pause)—work hard to re-align yourself with a better illusion—or you can say that is not really what I am here for. That is not what’s it about—there’s something deep within the human being and, you know, we do, actually underneath it all, we do have, each of us, we do have a basic integrity as human beings. Somehow in the midst of it all we know we are being lied to—we know nothing is true. (pause)

     And all I say is just return to that basic human part of you which is your relationship to God. That is all. My teacher, she said, you bring two things with you into the world—the desire to live, to survive—the survival instinct and the desire to worship. Everything else is added afterwards. Everything else is added afterwards.

     So just return to that basic imprint which is in a way the memory of when you were together with God in the Garden of Eden. When you were together with God. Return to that within yourself, then you can’t go wrong because that is true; if you didn’t have that the soul would no longer survive—and there are souls that have lost that... in this world; they’ve lost that memory—they’re called lost souls. They cannot find their way. You can see them on the inner plains—wandering, wandering—they can’t find their way—they’ve lost that connection and all the soul retrieval work in the world won’t help them. (pause) They wander between the worlds—strange existence.

     ‘Are they really, really, really lost?’ exclaimed Callum in disbelief.

     No one replied for a while—an uncomfortable silence pervaded which was eventually broken by Val.

     ‘I have been present at several Spiritualist church events where mediums have communicated messages from people who have died—speaking about lost souls and asking the living to retrieve them. I tried not to judge but unlike many other messages I have received personally I did not sense that the retrieval task was genuine or necessary. We now have some understanding about awakening—after all, we have woken up ourselves to our true existence in the Divine.

     I sense this is an error of dualistic thinking—heaven/hell, lost/found, light/darkness, love/hate—name it however you like. I like Llewellyn’s mist. This is where you, I and others were lost. By Grace the Creator breathes a holy fire and the mist dissipates. It can return but when our heart aches for our Beloved the veil, no matter how thick, how stubborn will lift. The notion of being lost is embedded in time in our thinking. Out of time lost has no meaning.

     ‘Hannah, you may have just provided the clue that will unlock this puzzle. The “lost” Gnostic texts will shed even more light upon this conundrum. There is no right or wrong here. We know very, very, very little for sure.’ Said Charles.

But all the illusions cannot fool you in your own human integrity—in what is real within you. It’s as simple as that. Somewhere you know what it means to be really alive—you know what you are here for and it is not self-development. I’m not saying self-development is a bad thing—it can help you, sure—but you are here for His sake; just like the whole of creation is here for His sake—His/Her, it doesn’t matter—it’s just a word. (pause)

     There’s this beautiful poem:

“Prabhu Sovereign Spirit, beneficent and merciful Allāh, my Infinite One;

at thy command only will I carry out the pilgrimage of life;

for the love of all created by thee and for thy glory.”

     That is a way to live. “... at thy command only will I carry out the pilgrimage of life; for the love of all created by thee and for thy glory.”

     If you live that—that imprint within you then you can turn from a world that is dying towards a world that is waking up. Because it is His world—it is not His world that is dying, I can assure you—it is a bad dream, a distorted dream, but it is His world that is waking up. Just like in your own awakening—you are suddenly present in His creation—not in your creation—it’s a fundamental difference. You’re suddenly present in His creation, that is why it is called awakening—you awake to what is—not what is not. (pause)

     And I think maybe I’m a spiritual romantic. I think He would like a few people to be present when He wakes up His world.”

     After a while there was a quiet tap on the door and Mika brought in some light refreshments.

     Sarah stood and nodded to Jorge to return the room to day conditions. The late autumn sun was sinking towards the horizon—casting golden shards of sunlight onto the famous oak table that hides many secrets and mysteries. (Remember the ten chairs in Chapter 1?)

     ‘I think we need time to process all this. Llewellyn has become a much valued teacher to me and I sense to us all. He is a spiritual romantic and we love him for it. I love the fact that we disagree with him on some points but the truth he speaks goes deep. I, for one, want to be present in every way in the awakening of the world that is happening now.